how to get over androphobia

Discussion in 'Ask a Question' started by day, Jul 28, 2015.

  1. day

    day New Member

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    Sorry to say, but I've got an extreme phobia of men. This is because I have been sexually asaulted my a few men, and its been recent as well. I'm now scared of all men.. I'm pertified if I'm served by a man. Even talking about them scares me. This is really impacting life; does anyone have any ideas on how to over come this????
    thanks everyone :)
     
  2. Jade

    Jade Member

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    Hi Day, I’m really sorry to hear what’s happened to you and it’s a shame you feel this way towards men now. I can’t imagine what this is like for you, have you tried speaking to your doctor or tried professional councilling? I think that could be beneficial for you to help you come to terms with what happened.

    What you could do yourself is try and convince yourself not all men are monsters like the ones that did that awful thing to you. Do you have a father, a brother, grandfather, uncle? Try and think of men that are in or have been in your life that have been good men and wouldn’t dream of letting any harm come to you, let alone harming you themselves.

    Some men can be the most gentle, caring people so you must try and see the good in them. I don’t know if this will be of any help to you and as I said I would advise you seek professional councilling as they will have come across cases like yours before and will be more equipped to help you.
    In the meantime I’m sure many people on this forum, including me will be here to talk to you and offer you support when you need it :)
     
  3. Jade

    Jade Member

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    Hi Day, sorry I just saw that your only 16. If you are anything like I was 8 years ago you’ll feel like a fully fledged adult but your still a minor until your 18. Don’t face this alone. Please tell your parents or another family member about what's happened to you if you haven’t already. If you can’t tell a family member confide in an adult that you trust, even a teacher or college tutor. If you haven’t reported these men to the police already it’s something you should consider, they should be punished for what they have done to you and to stop them doing it to someone else.

    Please take my advice on board and If your still unsure what to do and need to talk things over with someone I’m here to offer you support :)
     
  4. kelbel

    kelbel Member

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    Hi Day, welcome to the forum, I hope you'll receive the support you need here. I'm so sorry to hear the circumstances which have caused you to have this phobia, but i am pleased you feel you are able to talk to our members through the forum who will always be incredibly supportive.

    I completely echo Jade's advice above. 99% of men would be appalled to hear that you have had to suffer being assaulted by a man. In fact, i would use the term 'man' very loosely. Taking advantage of a younger female is not the action of anyone who can call themselves a man. I can totally understand why this would make you feel nervous of other men, but please don't let those few nasty people ruin your opinion of the incredible men that are all around us - most of which would be instantly protective of you if they heard your story.

    Jade is right about talking to someone you trust. Even if you don't feel you can, or are ready to talk to the police, it's so important to confide in someone you trust so they can support you emotionally. Do you have a best friend you can talk to, or a family member? Your doctor should also be able to refer you to a counsellor which would be a fantastic, neutral and supportive person who would certainly be able to help you.

    I feel so sad that you've had to experience this at the age of 16. I promise you that there are some amazing men out there and I'm sure you will have some within your life in the future. I also guarantee that after you've taken the step to confide in someone, you will feel instantly better.

    If you want to know about the process of what might happen if you spoke to the police please feel free to ask me, as my boyfriend is a Chief Inspector.

    We are all here online for you 24/7 if you need us.

    Lots of love,

    Kelly
    x
     
  5. Mark

    Mark Active Member

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    Hi

    Kelly and I set up the forum to try and offer help and assistance to those suffering from phobias and anxiety and I can only echo the comments from Jade and Kelly. I think you will feel a great relief when you confide in a friend, family member or even members of the forum (in private or on the forum) - you are not alone and you should not be the one suffering.

    At some point you would probably benefit from talking to a counsellor as issues which are left to fester in the back of your mind for years can have a negative impact on your life going forward. As Jade and Kelly said, not all men are the same and those who carry out these atrocious actions need to be prosecuted and punished.

    I hope it all works out for you and wish you all the best for the future.

    Regards,

    Mark
     

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